CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby The Old TomCat » Wed Mar 25, 2020 5:34 pm

Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year.
I mean hindsight is 2020. :)
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby The Old TomCat » Thu Mar 26, 2020 3:46 pm

My son is a locksmith and must still go to work during the lockdown.
You see he is a key worker. BOOM BOOM!
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby GETCARTER » Thu Mar 26, 2020 7:56 pm

I went to Timpsons today,and they said they were closed. I replied that you cannot be..........you're key workers.
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby The Old TomCat » Fri Mar 27, 2020 5:17 pm

I heard a Psychologist on TV say that in order to maintain inner peace while 'locked' indoors during this Covid-19 saga we should take the opportunity to finish things we had started.
I looked through my house to find those things I had started but never finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz.
Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now.
Sned this to all who need inner piss.
Telum u luvum and tellum also to kip seyf. xx
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby GETCARTER » Fri Mar 27, 2020 7:48 pm

Brilliant OTC. My kind of humour.
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby NewForestRover » Fri Mar 27, 2020 8:51 pm

Always Looking On The Bright Side
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby The Old TomCat » Sat Mar 28, 2020 7:49 am

NewForestRover wrote:Bohemian virus Rhapsody:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deYEoY6D-uI

Shucks. Video has been deleted.
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby GETCARTER » Sat Mar 28, 2020 9:54 am

If anyone receives an email from the Dept. of Health saying do NOT eat tinned pork because of Covid-19 , please ignore it............its just spam.
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby NewForestRover » Sat Mar 28, 2020 11:06 am

The Old TomCat wrote:
NewForestRover wrote:Bohemian virus Rhapsody:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deYEoY6D-uI

Shucks. Video has been deleted.


It’s still available on YouTube at the moment.
Just search for ‘Coronavirus rhapsody’ by Queen.

It’s really good and made me smile.
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby The Old TomCat » Sun Mar 29, 2020 8:54 am

Yesterday I was standing in line at the Post Office when three men walked in wearing masks.

PANIC!

Then they said: “This is a robbery,” and we all calmed down.
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby The Old TomCat » Sun Mar 29, 2020 8:58 am

My neighbour’s cleaning lady phoned him yesterday and said that she would be working from home but will send instructions on what to do. :D
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby The Old TomCat » Sun Mar 29, 2020 9:02 am

Second Saturday without sport.
Found a lady sitting on my couch.
Apparently she’s my wife.
She seems nice. :D
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby The Old TomCat » Mon Mar 30, 2020 8:29 pm

Just saw a very sweet slice of quarantine life. Two young lovers in jogging gear in Stroud Park, clearly pretending to be doing their exercise for the day so they could steal a moment together.
Not ashamed to say I had a slight catch in my throat as I called the police. :D
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby The Old TomCat » Tue Mar 31, 2020 1:47 pm

The number of bad covid-19 jokes in circulation is starting to reach alarming figures.
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
BOOM BOOM :D
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby Greeners » Tue Mar 31, 2020 3:50 pm

Hi
There has been a Scold, a Mischief, a Murder, a Conspiracy, a Parliament, and a Train in my garden recently.
I suspect that there has been an outbreak of Corvidae Virus.
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby The Old TomCat » Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:54 am

I still haven’t decided where to go for Easter.
Debating between the bedroom or living room. :?: :roll:
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby The Old TomCat » Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:17 am

This video is a bit naughty but very funny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F7YR2OGhIk
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby Greeners » Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:59 am

Hi
I went out for a walk on Sunday, shut the door behind me and then found I hadn't got my keys.
I have been camped on my front doorstep since.
Can't find a "KEY" worker when you need one.
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby The Old TomCat » Fri Apr 17, 2020 11:04 am

They say the old ones are the best ones, which this one is, but under current conditions I feel like the camel.



A Bedouin trader was planning a trip across the Sarah Desert when he came across a naïve European visitor who asked him how he makes sure his camel has enough water for the journey.
The Bedouin explained that he takes the camel to pond and stands behind him with two bricks in his hands. As the camel is about to take a drink the Bedouin smacks the bricks together between the camel’s balls.
The astonished European asked: “Doesn’t that hurt?”
“Only if you catch your thumbs,” replied the Bedouin. ;)
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Re: CoronaVirus: Gallows humour [funnies]

Postby GETCARTER » Sun Apr 19, 2020 3:28 pm

Cheltenham Town FC are donating 1000 free tickets to NHS staff for every game next season. An NHS spokesman said many thanks,.........but don't you think they have suffered enough already.
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